A bit of Sunday humour to lift people’s spirit. A OS Car analogy article. Includes Windows, MacOSX, Linux, BeOS and Amiga.
OS Car analogy
About The Author
Eugenia Loli
Ex-programmer, ex-editor in chief at OSNews.com, now a visual artist/filmmaker.
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The best analogy was the BeOS one. Because of the net_server issues, I’d add to it: “Like the Murcielago, if you touch the shifter too hard it’ll break off.” That, and “It doesn’t have a radio” (lack of mmap()), and “you can’t take it down to Jiffy Lube to get is serviced”.
I think a far better analogy for OS X would be a Hummer. Yeah, it’s big and slow, but all that chrome and shiny metal is sexy, and it’s got a lot of creature comforts on the inside.
Windows I’d liken to a General Motors car. They’re ubiquitous, and can be dolled up to be pretty sexy, but fall apart after a few years of use and require constant servicing.
If my memory serves me right, it’s sort of an elaboration on a passage from Neal Stephenson’s “In the Beginning was the Command Line”. (You can find the text here – http://www.cryptonomicon.com/beginning.html – by the way)
Wasn’t BeOS the Batmobile in his version? It’s been a while since I read it.
http://bitsofnews.com
I thought that was rather amusing. Like the Unix-trucks BeOS-sports car analogy. That’s about how I’ve always seen it.
Very funny article, and very insightful, too. The Linux vehicle, though, can be a self-made racing car, although I admit you have to do a lot of work to accomplish that. Right now running KDE 3.4 on slack.. Since I removed the mountwatcher from KDE 3.2, and turned on realtime and big buffer for the sound server my KDE is fast!
First, many of us refuse to drive the station wagons or trucks in the OS world (I admit I own a truck in real life, but I only use BeOS in real life too).
In otherwords we are driving around in old sports cars of an OS and like real life sports cars we find the number of service centers and aftermarket parts to be more limited than it is of other OSs out there.
Plus, finding a good service tech to look under-the-hood can get very scary when he asks “So where are your DLLs?”.
You forgot the other feature it shares with a Hummer.
It will go anywhere! It may not go fast (more cpu bang for the buck with intel), it may not be a smooth ride (finding the right software), but it just will not be stopped (you always can mix and match software to get the job done).
Add in the design is more heavy duty in basic design than other OSes but not as heavy duty as the specialize designs.
IE OS-X out of the box seems better made to handle every day uses than Windows or Linux. But when you want a web-server for example the specialize version of Windows or Linux beat out OS-X
That does seem to be the Amiga too. Like the cars that are loved in Cuba (sometimes because they have no choice) the users of Amiga keep the OS going not companies (service stations).
The sports car analogy for BeOS was pretty good. Except that BeOS is more like a sports car with no wheels. Car lovers will say, look at that power, look at that beauty, it can spin the axles at 10,000 rpm.
But once you actually want to drive it somewhere, you realize that it won’t move.
I like this analogy though. Airlines and computers
http://www.funny.co.uk/stuff/art_71-1789-If-Airlines-were-Computers…
What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?
DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.
OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems.
Once they finally finished you’re offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip…except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.
Wings of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted “747” on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.
Mach Airlines
There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they’re building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived.
Newton Airlines
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the steward announces that you have to repeat the boarding process because they are out of room and need to recount to make sure they can take more passengers.
VMS Airlines
The passengers all gather in the hanger, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors.
BeOS Air
You have to pay for the tickets, but they’re half the price of Windows Air, and if you are an aircraft mechanic you can probably ride for free. It only takes 15 minutes to get to the airport and you are cheuferred there in a limozine. BeOS Air only has limited types of planes that only only hold new luggage. All planes are single seaters and the model names all start with an “F” (F-14, F-15, F-16, F-18, etc.). The plane will fly you to your destination on autopilot in half the time of other Airways or you can fly the plane yourself. There are limited destinations, but they are only places you’d want to go to anyway. You tell all your friends how great BeOS Air is and all they say is “What do you mean I can’t bring all my old baggage with me?”
Linux Airlines
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”
Linux is more like this car: http://acpropulsion.com/tzero_pages/tzero_home.htm
I wish I had one of these in my garage…
Just hope the guys at the Haiku garage can get my Sports car ready for the summer season. And I hope they remembered to install that turbo I asked for to get those extra HP’s
http://bitsofnews.com
The funny thing is, that Amiga development is probably speeding ahead faster than BeOS and the number of users most likely quite a bit higher. Or sad or whatever. Both operating systems deserve a much better fate than the state they’re in. At least both a being worked on and they both rock my world unlike the others (no, not kevlar time).
I think that these cars are the best analogue to linux.
http://www.factoryfive.com/index.html
You can buy them whole, or build one yourself. It bears a striking resemblence to something 30 years old, but can be as modern as you want it to be, and have as much creature comforts as you care to have as well.
Most people react well to it when they see it, but don’t want to think about trying to build one.
can be found at
http://cs.senecac.on.ca/~selmys/humour/index.html
Except that Linux might be more like that you have to recompile at every red light, and every time you turn right you have the face the continues dependency hell meaning you’re not sure that your car is compatible with that 90 degree curve.
But I agree with most of the others…
It’s pretty good.
My reaction was closer to “how lame,” rather than a few good chuckles. Then I realised, maybe it isn’t the fault of the writer. When you think about it, Windows is more stable, so it is hard to make fun of it blowing up. The packaging of Linux is much better, so it is hard to make fun of the passengers coming together to assemble it. And Mac OS X is much more open, so it is hard to make fun of the “you don’t need to know, and we won’t tell you anyway” attitude.
Gee. Operating systems are boring nowdays.
Linux is more like this car: http://acpropulsion.com/tzero_pages/tzero_home.htm
I wish I had one of these in my garage…
lol. Like Linux the OS I see its still in development.
It must of been a horribly slow news day for this to get anywhere OSNews.com.
by the way how is OS X running on a dual G5 slow?
I think Umberto Eco wrote this one about ten years ago:
1. Apple Macs are analogous to Roman Catholicism. There are plenty of icons and you are guided directly to Heaven. Just don’t stray outside the boundaries that have been set there to guide you!
2. MS-DOS is like Calvinism. Salvation is a path each much achieve largely on their own. It is stripped bare of icons and it is accepted from the beginning that some simply are not ordained to make it.
3. Windows is like Anglicanism. It makes a pretence of being like a Mac but thretens to crash back into Calvinism at any moment.
Firstly, can we get over the idea that you have to compile a kernel for Linux???? Personally I haven’t done that for well over a year and have no issues running my system on it.
OS-X well, I was amazed to see a G4-400 running Panther. It was quite reasonable although not the greatest but considering the age of the system, not bad. Given it had over a gig of ram which helped it immesurably. Imagine a G5 running Tiger?
BeOS, the way it shuld be done and I hope that the wheels get put on that sports car soon especially in audio editing/sequencing software.
I once tried BeOS… it isn’t a sports car, it’s a Formula 1! I’ve never seen any OS boot faster than that. Sadly, I had problems with my graphic card (640×480, grayscale)…
Meanwhile, I use Linux. I am awaiting for a stable version of Haiku!
I especially like the “lack of focus” which lead to the BeOS crash…
Not just cars a better analogy would be a properly integrated transport system
a few hiccups in Apples timetable but everything generally runs smooth, you get on the bus to the train station which takes you to the airport
linux is getting there as long as you know how to fix the bus, work the signals and then are the pilot
Microsoft have taken integration a little to literally and their bus that runs on rail with wings is a nightmare to maintain and rarely runs properly but there’s lots of games to play to keep you distracted
the happiest folks are those who don’t need to get anywhere and just to potter along in a horse and trap……
> by the way how is OS X running on a dual G5 slow?
Actually in my lab I have both the dual 2.5 G5 (running 10.4) and a dual Opteron (Sun w2100z; running gentoo), both with 4Gig RAM. I find them both rather neck-and-neck as far as performance goes. Neither is the best, hands down.
Microsoft is like Pac ‘n Save/Countdown – low prices, heaps of people shop there, but the reality is, their service is crap. Its great for those who want a ‘cheap out of the box’ solution but those who want something more than just an out of the box solution, they’re out of luck.
MacOS X is like Woolworths/Foodtown – Medium prices, still not as cheap at Pac ‘n Save or Countdown, but the customers are happy to pay that extra bit of money for better service, greater range and a great selection of ready made solutions.
UNIX is like Aldi – It doesn’t look impressive on the out side, but when you go in, everything is efficient laid out – why waste time with fancy shelves when a pile of boxes can do the same thing – as for the check out, big long conveyer belts ensure that throughput is kept at Maximum right throughout the transaction.
Kaiwai, you’re such a kiwi sometimes
Just wondering how far that last anaology extends…
Is the Amiga popular in Cuba by anay chance? What is the pop OS over there?
Kaiwai, like you think Microsoft products are crap, i feel Linux is trash. Am i adding any value to discussion? NO. Shouldn’t i just shut up…yes..
Now lets talk some more factual stuff…
Who took part in ACPI development…Microsoft
Who brought things like PnP…Microsoft
Who sells the most…Microsoft
Which OS has best development and debugging tools…Windows
Which OS has best hardware support….Windows
Which OS has best documentation for driver writing….Windows
So please next time don’t speak out of your a$$ by calling something crap, give some useful information…something like…
Which OS suffers from most viruses…Windows
Which is the worst browser…IE
which modern OS kernel is not fully asynchronous…Linux
which modern OS doesn’t have object ACL…Linux
There are some good things some bad things in each…what you like most in an OS may not be that important to others…it doesn’t mean that its crap ok?
Actually in my lab I have both the dual 2.5 G5 (running 10.4) and a dual Opteron (Sun w2100z; running gentoo), both with 4Gig RAM. I find them both rather neck-and-neck as far as performance goes.
My heart bleeds for this guy, to be stuck with such lousy equipment!
While the engine is a closed design, buyers can now choose from the wagon (automatic or manual transmission), and the truck versions. The differences are primarily cargo capacity and the number of people allowed to drive it. All truck models feature the essentially same interior, with lights/heater/radio controls in identical positions.
The mechanics of the Linux vehicles aare largely the same, just assembled around different versions. Manufacturers are now finally paying attention to interior comforts, but each model has a different interior. Usually, the wiper controls are somewhere connected to the steering column, but are occasionally found under the passenger seat.
I would have prefer that Linux is seen as Evo or something like this.
Out of the box it is a ‘car’ that is of great performance. But there exists owners who have to push it to the limits… tuning it and adding stuffs to improve its performance better.
wolf: “which modern OS kernel is not fully asynchronous…Linux
which modern OS doesn’t have object ACL…Linux”
Are you for real? How is it over there on the moon?
Who brought things like PnP…Microsoft
ahhh the famous Plug ‘n Pray system….
Real Plug ‘n play was born in 1985 with Amiga 1000… it ws called AutoConfig (TM), and it worked, not like PnP in 1995
Not only did AutoConfig work, it was so easy a system I was able to make my own AutoConfiging boards at home, as did a number of members of the Amiga Developer Club (Toronto), I still can’t get as high a speed DIY interface in my PC as I could on my Amiga 4000.
Even worse if MicroSoft is claiming to be first, what about the Apple II support of controlling code in the rom space mapped for any board selected. While not up to the power of Amiga’s AutoConfig it still made it possible to have all the basic code to run a board available at the time the board was selected. Not perfect but I never remember hearing it having the same conflict for resources that early PnP systems had.
“Which OS has best hardware support….Windows”
Depends on how one looks at it
I see no version of Windows that runs on a Macintosh, or a Playstation or Dreamcast or or or. But if one is using an x86 (like most of the desktop systems in the world) it is indeed easier to find drivers for random wireless or graphics cards or whatever.
Kaiwai, you’re such a kiwi sometimes
Of course
I’m sure some can translate it into the equivilant of Woolworths/Tesco’s for the British readers
he is winding you all up, to see how much into humour yous are.
underneath it all, Wolf knows that Windows is a crap system, but he is stuck with it. He knows Linux has an excellent community and people bend over backwards to help newbies….. except, they know who he is, and he will get a rough time of RTFM etc etc
Oh, and MamiyaOtaru…. The Dreamcast OS was actually Windows CE
…is more like the (in)famous Trabant than a Ford though.
I think this Analogy is stolen from classic book Once There was a Command Line
Darling, honey – where did I insult Microsoft Windows?
I am a happy Pac ‘n Save shopper – I like their low prices, and I like the fact that I’m not paying for service that I will never request in the whole time I shop there.
As for Windows XP; there is nothing wrong with it – but like most operating systems, make sure you update, have a virus checker, possibly a firewall (or if you have a router, properly setup) and you shouldn’t have a problem.
Oh, and hon, I’m not a Linux user; I can’t stand the damn thing, I’m an ex-FreeBSD/Solaris user who moved to MacOS X/iMac (prior to that, MacOS X/eMac), so your assertion that I am some person with a Linux chip on my sholder is completely unfounded.
Soo “d00d”, why don’t you jump into your ‘pick up’ with all your ‘d00ds’ and try to get ‘laid’ rather than hanging around here wasting bandwidth and space on osnews.com’s mysql server.
Actually, if I remember correctly, the Dreamcast ran two operating systems; a modified version of Windows CE for web browsing, and an OS written by Sega which ran the games. Also, some games directly ran on the Dreamcast hardware.
No. There was a set of libraries for game development – IIRC called Katana. Besides that the Dreamcast can also run WinCE (and a small handful of games actually run with WinCE such as Tomb Raider and SEGA Rally 2).
kaiwai, actually OSnews runs postgre not mysql
hmmmm, I have one in the corner of the room… there is printing on the front that says…
“Microsoft Windows CE”
lets just switch it on and see what happens…
boot screens are running…
after the Dreamcast one,(that Debian curl rip-off) , there is a Sega one, that says Powered by Microsoft Windows CE.
So there you have it. Dreamcast is powered by Windows CE… and my Dreamcast has never crashed.
Raver31, you probably should take the WinCE based game out of the DC and try it again… My 1999 era DC only displays anything related to WinCE when there’s a game built off it in the drive.
I always get the DC logo then the “Produced by or under license from Sega Enterprises” screen on the Sega library based games… Maybe you have a “special” MS edition Dreamcast.
And I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten my DC to crash before, although Sega games on Gamecube are a lot more unstable than any DC game ever was.
Hey, there was a project to get Linux running on the DC, wasn’t there? How far did that ever get?
I disagree with the choice of a Jeep as the picture to represent MacOS, though I’m struggling to find the right vehicle to fill the picture.
I think that MacOS should be a hybrid vehicle, with unrealistic promises and a much higher hardware cost. It’s got to be a truck-based vehicle (though there are no truck-based hybrid SUVs at the moment). It needs some eye candy, and it needs to be upset as soon as you don’t use it in very well-controlled situations. It needs to come from a brand that has a history of producing inferior vehicles and has only been catching up recently.
I think that MacOS is closest to a lowered hybrid PT cruiser, right-hand drive, riding on small and skinny whitewall tires mounted with a lot of negative offset, with ground-effect skirts, blue neons lighting the road underneath, and a giant brushed aluminum wing mounted at the rear.
call em stolen if you want, but that is how inventions go, consider Henrey Ford’s invention of the mass produced automobiles built with another invention called the assembly line, what if the Ford motor company had a monopoly on cars and people were still having to drive the Model T (Tin Lizzies) because old Mr. Ford’s patents & copywrites were preventing progress…
when somebody invents something be it autos, methods of construction, whatever it is, sooner or later somebody comes along with a better idea and imporoves on an allready existing product, it is just the way the world works…
I did indeed have a game disk inside the dreamcast earlier. I tried it again without a disc and it got as far as the Sega boot screen before it went straight into the memory card/ cd player/ settings screen.
The Linux on dreamcast is very advanced, there was a review of it in one of the UK magazines based on retro gaming. Retro Gamer is what the mag is called I think…
Anyway, it was an article about running emulators on systems other than PCs and they were showing how to get mame for linux running on the dreamcast under linux. nice, but thats what me pc is for
All of the links to the car/supermarket/airplane lists were lame so I thought I would post this for you chumps.
This first one compares them as cars (a much more robost article I might add)
http://2guysamacandawebsite.com/article.php?id=633
And this one compares them as stores (and is actually humorous unlike some of the tripe I have been reading)
http://2guysamacandawebsite.com/article.php?id=635
Try these out and then you will know good list humor.
I like my rewrite of OS/2 Airlines better than the original version.
“The terminal is almost empty – a number of people are actively milling
about near the gate, but most of them seem hesitant to get too near the
gate itself. Some murmur under their breath that nobody actually flies
OS/2, while others assert that the next Windows aircraft to arrive at the
gate next door will be much faster and have prettier paint. From time
to time a sturdy OS/2 jet will taxi in, wait for a while as one or two
passengers actually board the plane, and then smoothly take off for its
next destination. Flights usually depart and arrive on time, but once
in a while a glitch in one of the passengers seats will cause all of the
seats in the airplane to collapse at once, spilling drinks everywhere.”
Actually, I see Linux as more of a kit car. Anybody remember the Sterling (Beetle-based)?
I have developed for Dreamcast. The development kit was called katana, yes.
It came with 4 compilers: GCC for SH, Hitachi C compiler, Code Warrior for Dreamcast, and Visual C for Windows CE/Dreamcast.
The machine comes with a very small kernel programmed by SEGA. Basic stuff: Mallocs, IO, etc…
The Windows CE deal was simply an option. You could use Windows CE thanks to a deal between Microsoft & SEGA. But it was a software solution, Windows CE had to be loaded from the GDROM with your application.
In general people avoided it because the Windows CE kernel, while configurable, took lots of RAM, and the machine only had 16 MB.
Also it consumed CPU like mad from time to time, causing slowdowns. Don’t know why though.
We chose the CodeWarrior IDE + SEGA kernel & libraries.
I routinely tell my dad that Windows is a pickup, and Linux is a semi.
You can buy Ford Rangers with 4-bangers and quarter-ton capacity, or F-350’s with Power Stroke Diesels and multi-ton capacity (just like there’s Windows 95/98 and Windows 2003 Server). They are, however, still pickups. They’re intended to be operated with a minimum of training, and they have certain limitations. Limitations aside, they are useful as hell, more than enough for most people.
A semi requires more training to operate properly, but it has a lot more capability. Someone with a regular operator’s license and a some specialized traing can sit behind the wheel of some of the newer semis (with automatic trannies, no less), but the result will be sub-optimal (just like there are plenty of Linux LiveCD’s out there which will let a complete newbie play with Linux; the performance is typically sub-optimal, though). When you’ve routinely got 20+ tons of cargo to haul, though, you don’t bother with an F-150; you call Pete or Freightliner and get it over with.
And, if you don’t think semis are modular enough, think again. You can go buy a Freightliner, but you have multiple choices for frame rails (steel, aluminum or some combination), engines (Caterpillar, Detroit or Cummins, multiple sizes/power ratings), transmissions (multiple manufacturers and multiple choices of the number of gears), steering gear (at least two different suppliers), wheels (steel or aluminum; multiple manufacturers), and dozens of options on the suspension. That’s before you get to multiple choices on the cab style and paint.
My dad is a truck driver, so he gets the analogy. He can handle a 600+ HP rig with 13 forward gears and 60+ tons of gross weight (special permits required). Putting me behind the wheel of such a rig would be an accident waiting to happen. When it comes to computers, though, he’s content to drive a “pickup” and let me drive the “semi.”
I see the Linux truck looking like this in the near future. Now thats a truck.
http://www.carlist.com/newcars/2005/ncr_327.html
“I think a far better analogy for OS X would be a Hummer. Yeah, it’s big and slow, but all that chrome and shiny metal is sexy, and it’s got a lot of creature comforts on the inside.
Windows I’d liken to a General Motors car. They’re ubiquitous, and can be dolled up to be pretty sexy, but fall apart after a few years of use and require constant servicing…”
You *do* realize that General Motors owns Hummer right?
Everyone, pray for your life the car just had a BSOD!!!!
This must be the poorest analogy I have every read, about anything. They hardly make sense, especially with respect to each other. Next time you need a bit of humor material, ask someone different, PLEASE!
All planes are single seaters and the model names all start with an “F” (F-14, F-15, F-16, F-18, etc.).
Really hate to be obnoxious here but the F-14 is not a single seater.
Most sexy fighter ever built though.